‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’ and Don’t Panic! English Ale

The 2005 adaptation of Douglas Adams’ beloved sci-fi book isn’t very good, but this beer helps make it a little more palatable.

The Movie: Sci-Fi comedy butchering of one of the coolest books ever written / 2005 / Buena Vista Pictures

The Beer: English Mild / 5.2% ABV / Shoreline Brewery – Michigan City, IN

Few movies are more consistently disappointing to me than The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (I’m talking the 2005 movie directed by Garth Jennings.

I’ve attempted to watch it several times with an open mind over the years, and the travesty doesn’t get much better on repeat. If you’ve read the book, you know it’s a mindblowingly witty and thought-provoking story about a man who gets whisked away off of Earth seconds before it’s demolished for a hyperspace bypass. It’s also about life, the universe and everything, and it’s downright funny. Even during the most tedious of Vogon poetry recitations, there’s never a dull moment.

The 2005 film adaptation, however, overflows with dull moments. It’s interesting because there was already a BBC series adaptation done in 1981 that wasn’t half-bad, and the 2005 rendition was anticipated to finally get things right thanks to advancements in visual effects. Additionally Douglas Adams himself worked on initial drafts of the film script before he passed away in 2001. But the final result feels like it was made by people who never actually read the book. The crime here is that all of the glee, the whimsy, the joie de vivre, is missing. It’s a phoned-in, watered-down “let’s just get this movie made and done with already” kinda vibe, and I’m not about it.

I acknowledge that the bulk of my disappointment comes from the novel being my all-time favorites, but I’m no stickler for a straight book-to-movie adaptation. I actually like when reasonable adjustments to the plot are made and fresh perspectives are offered on a well-known story. Some of the best movies are actually looser adaptations. Look at The Lord of the Rings. Look at Jojo Rabbit. Speaking of director Taika Waititi, the colorful, wonderfully weird and funny Sakaar scenes in Thor Ragnarok would have served Hitchhiker’s Guide well.

Fortunately for the 2005 Hitchhiker’s Guide, beer exists. Not only does Don’t Panic! English Ale from Shoreline Brewery make me smile from the reference (really, just go read the book already), but it literally says not to panic, and I’m assuming that can apply to managing distaste for a bad movie.

The beer’s also an English Mild, which I view as just a bonus nod to the book’s English origins. True to style, it carries an easygoing ABV and smoothly shippable body. It’s also been a very popular style in England for many decades now, so it’s entirely possible this was one of Arthur Dent’s last beers on Earth.

Does a good beer make up for a not-so-good movie? Not really, but it can definitely cushion the blow. And one of these days, it may become possible for a decent Hitchhiker’s Guide to be made. Or maybe I’ll actually start liking the 2005 rendition. Maybe. We’ll see.

For those wondering, Shoreline Brewery is an adorable microbrewery and restaurant housed in a historic building on Lake Michigan, about an hour outside of Chicago. I definitely recommend visiting someday, but here are some other fun Hitchhiker’s-themed brews in the meantime:

*Bonus Brews*

• Arthur Dent’s Intergalactic IPA / IPA / 6.9% ABV / Wicked Teuton Brewing – Oak Harbor, WA
• Vogon Poetry / NEIPA / 7% ABV / Barrel Theory Beer Co. – Saint Paul, MN
• The Answer is 42 / Cider with wildflower honey and pink peppercorn (not a beer, but another option!) / 6.9% ABV / Hale & True – Philadelphia, PA

And for those lucky enough to be near this one:

• Beeblebrox Lager / American-style Lager / 5.2% ABV / Sad Robot Brewing – Göteborg, Sweden