‘Mortal Kombat’ and Two S’Mortal Kombat Stouts – Fight!

There’s little plot to dissect here, but the plot was never the point. It’s all about the fighting!

The Movie: Action / 2021 / New Line Cinema – Warner Bros.

The Beers: S’mores-flavored Stouts with big ABVs!

*Very Mild Spoilers* If you’re here to find out if there’s a post-credits scene though, the answer is ‘no.’

I didn’t play Mortal Kombat much growing up, save for occasional button smashing on old arcade games at pizza joints and other kids’ birthday parties at FunTime America (hey fellow Central Jersey folks!) But various elements stuck with me. I cheered when a club DJ popped on the theme song in my early 20s, and I wasn’t mad when a coworker started calling me “Sonya Blade” several years later — because of my ponytailed dyed-blonde hair or my tough exterior, who knows.

I also wasn’t mad when my boyfriend downloaded Mortal Kombat 11 (and the character expansion packs, woohoo!) shortly before the new Mortal Kombat movie dropped on HBO on Friday. We kicked things off by playing RoboCop vs. The Terminator, and it was cool as heck. The gleeful insults! The kickass moves! That stuff’s fun no matter how old you are, and the new character skins made it all the more hilariously awesome.

There’s nothing particularly new or exciting about the ‘Mortal Kombat’ reboot movie overall. It’s like a series of long video game cut scenes mingled with action play, and that’s a good thing. So many other film adaptations of video games try hard to force in more plot and character development, to the point that it takes away from what made the games so fun in the first place. The new movie keeps the characters relatively straightforward and doesn’t bother adding too many layers to the plot. Like the game franchise, this flick’s all about the kickass moves, gory deaths and gleeful insults!

By the way, the best one liners come from the laser-blasting Kano. They don’t always hit the mark, but the stuff that does certainly is fun. And according to CinemaBlend, actor Josh Lawson improvised it all! He manages to do so without chewing up the scenery too. In fact none of the cast members overstep their bounds — they feel very much like the video game characters come to life (no RoboCop or Terminator though, alas).

All impressive stuff considering Mortal Kombat was director Simon McQuoid’s first feature film. At no point does it feel like he’s trying too hard. And while the movie is formulaic (hey, the ’90s Mortal Kombat movies were too), it has just enough action to keep you from caring too much about its thin plot.

For my beer pairings, there are quite a few Mortal Kombat beers out there (including another S’Mortal Kombat Stout by Sasquatch Brewing Co. in Portland, OR). But the best action sequences in Mortal Kombat follow the one vs. one format of the video game.

So in the spirit of the movie, I’m pitting two strong contenders against each other. It’s 3 Sons’ S’Mortal Kombat vs. Dimensional’s S’Mortal Kombat. Fight!

S’Mortal Kombat Stout – 3 Sons Brewing Co.

An incredibly boozy Imperial Stout with notes of dark chocolate and strong graham cracker flavors. Whiskey-molasses on the finish. A smooth ‘n thick body that hints at melted marshmallows. A true champion. 

Status: Treated with real chocolate, graham crackers and marshmallow, aged in bourbon barrels.

Attack: Try pouring into a glass to let those graham cracker flavors really come through. They’re what really seals the s’mores experience.

Toughness: 12.8% ABV!

Recovery: 3 Sons is located in Dania Beach, Florida

Barrel Aged S’Mortal Kombat Stout – Dimensional Brewing Co.

A rarely-seen RYE barrel aged s’mores-flavored Imperial Stout. The barrels add a gentle spice quality to the notes of chocolate, graham and creamy marshmallow, making it a champion of its own.

Status: Brewed with real cacao nibs, graham crackers and toasted marshmallow, aged in rye barrels.

Attack: A wide-brimmed glass will also let this beer open up and make the barrel flavors apparent in every sip. That’s what really makes this beer a contender.

Toughness: 11.5% ABV!

Recovery: Dimensional is located in Dubuque, Iowa

The Fatality – Who Wins?

Which of these Imperial Stouts to win? It’s a tough call. 3 Sons’ version has the slightly boozier strength and more distinctive graham cracker flavor, but Dimensional’s has the more unique barrel quality and gets smoother with every sip. I think the winner here all depends on what you’re craving during your fight, er, flight. For more distinct s’mores flavors, go with 3 Sons. For a more complex beer overall, go with Dimensional.

Now, FINISH IT!